Catch Up post: Valentines post 2

This note is VERY important to remember as you read the following blog......I am not angry, or resentful to anyone in this post. As a matter of fact I love each and every one of these people.....I however am just going through my own type of fertility issue that causes me to cringe at the thought of anyone else getting pregnant.....It doesn't stop me from being genuinly happy, and I pray that my emotional state does not prevent people from sharing their joy with me....but know I have to have my moment of saddness or greif, or whatever word describes the feeling that makes me sad about it....

Okay so after my Valentines Day post, I continued to have a ugh kind of  love day.

The love part was great, Jason and I went to visit my grandmother who had just got out of the hospital...we visited with my Aunt and Uncle....and then we went to get Aaron home (he was at his Moms house), and then Ainsley to her dad. Afterwards we decided to go eat at Houlihans. It was scrumptious.....we came home, and I watched the biggest loser and Jason did a little work. It was relaxing evening....BUT I did have an emotional blow in the middle of it all....
My other Sister in Law announces on Facebook that she is pregnant....

Really?
UGH.

When I read it on facebook, we were on our way from picking up Aaron, and taking him home...I was doing all I could do not to bust out in tears.
When we got Aaron home and Ainsley to her dad, Jason did what he could to reassure me....he did what he could to help me talk about it.
It's hard to explain it. And I have yet to find the right word to define it.....but the feeling that goes through my body at each announcement of someone's upcoming bundle of joy....
Then, the sweet lady I befriended at the Walgreens I go couponing at.....announces on Facebook the next day, she too is expecting.....
So that puts the number of women I know expecting up to....5. Out of those 5, only one...ONE has never had children before.
It's defeating.

So yeah, happy freakin' love day to me and my empty womb.

I was defeated....but my sweet sweet husband tried to cheer me up, and  by the end of the evening, though a little sad, I did enjoy our night together.