Lapband and other health things.

Ugh. I am not happy with it right now....and sad thing is....is that it is all my fault.
Lets back up bit...

Two weeks we went to go get fills in our lapband - this is where they take saline via a surenge and using the port under my skin, fill the lapband to give me more restriction on how much I can eat, thus giving me less of an appetite, because the smaller amount will fill me up quicker, and with less food.

Well when I went in, they noticed the pouch above my lapband (where the food I eat sits until it slowly falls through the lapband into my bigger stomach to be processed) was stretched a little bit. So instead of putting fill into my band, they took most of my fill out because they want the pouch to have no restriction thus giving it an oppertunity to shrink back to normal. With the saline being removed, my hunger increased and I can eat anything I want...where as with a fill, you have a hard time eating carb filled things, and a few other not so good for you kinds of foods....

Thats where I am now. Hungry, Fill-less, with the ability to eat what I haven't been able to in a long time.

In the last two week, I have honestly gained 9lbs. N.I.N.E.

AGH!

I have no self control I suppose.
So that tells me,
Lapband hasn't really turned me into a health nut like I imagined.
I know I know, I have to learn and do different.....
but what I have learned is
the food battle I am fighting is ALL IN MY HEAD.
I have to learn this, and I am not.

I will have had the lapband for 2 years in November. With that I have only lost 37 pounds (well 28 now that I gained weight)

I am going to have to buckle down and get my family eating on the right track. I have to take care of my husband so that his lapband is working for him, I need him to lose weight as much as I do.....if we are going to have babies, his weight has a lot to do with his male infertility issues I am sure.

I hate being fat, but I love food. Food is dumb.

Because my body has gained weight and I have no self control, my doctor called me in an appetite suppresant so I can continue to try to have control during this time...because I feared that I would gain ALL the weight back that i had lost....
But when I get my fill put back in here in a few weeks I will stop taking it.
Some people think that me taking this medicine is complete weakness, but what they don't understand is that I have never had self control, and these are things I am trying to learn, and to open the flood gate of me getting to eat anything I want when I want, is dangerous since I haven't conqured the lapband idea....
I know I know I need to get back into the gym, and that is a part of my problem to begin with....but now life is slowing down for me, some major changes are happening I will have the ability to get up and go to the gym without worrying about other peoples schedules...it will happen.
However, with gym, that opens another can of worms....
I have made the decision to wear nothing but skirts in my life, so that includes workout clothes...I have no skirts to work out in, and I haven't a clue where to get some, i want some jersey knit knee length skirts, but I haven't been able to find it.....I know I know excuses excuses, but hey, I am just being honest at where I am in life.

Today I am Thankful for: Lapband (Day 8)

Today I am thankful for my lapband.

Like yesterday, today is also an anniversary. Today is the 1 year anniversary of our surgery date for our lapband.
So I had started on this blog my "lapband journey" a little bit. But honestly after a while I was discouraged. I wasn't losing the weight that i knew could be lost. I would go online and read posts on lapbandtalk.com and see how many people had lost so much weight in such a small time.
I knew I wasn't eating like I should, some of my choices were still high calories, but I rationalized it with me eating less.
But as of June of this year, I went to see my doctor, and he told me that i wasn't at the fill level I needed to be at to have optimal results (a fill is when they insert saline into the lapband to give restriction to how much food is passed through the band to be processed gastrically - otherwise it sits in the pouch created to continue to tease the nerves in my stomach saying it's full).
I got the fill I needed and started to lose weight like a champ!
In June I weighed 298 (only a few pounds from my 306lb presurgery weight) and right now, I am 271. With that, I am now at a spot where I know I will need more fill, for more weight loss. But with or without the fill, I can see myself making better choices, and with that, I am learning how to make this lapband a life changing experience rather than just another diet.
My goal weight is 180, however, my ultimate goal with lapband was not to lose weight for appearances. I could careless how big or small I am, I am happy with me. My goal was to lose weight enough so I can have children.
I was told by multiple doctors that if I lost 30 pounds, I would become pregnant. Well, I have lost that "30" and still nothing...no baby....but I am trusting that the Lord sees where I am with that want and will continue to bless me with my lapband to lose the weight I need to be as healthy as I need to be for carrying, birthing, and raising children.

Not sure if you can see a difference, but here is this day last year, as well as a picture of me on 10/31 of this year, as a sort of before and after pic....

So I am thankful for lapband and making new and healthy choices!!

The LB Story Part Six

We woke up about 6, Veida was coming with us and she was going to be at my house about 8am....
There were videos we had to watch, so we spent the morning watching them, showering, and being sort of nervous....oh and thirsty, we were unable to drink anything since midnight.

Veida and Nikloas came and picked us up, and we got to the Surgery Center. Checked in, and I went back first.
My nerves were through the roof!!

I stripped down, took a pregnancy test (they wouldn't do the surgery if i was pregnant) and went to get weighed.

I weighed 301. So that means, I lost 5 pounds since the day we set the surgery date. I felt defeated, what is 5 pounds to the 120 I need to lose?

I got put in the bed, the nurses were chit chatting with me, they had all had the surgery already and were giving me encouragement. The Surgeon and Anestisologist came by and said hello, and asked me if I had any questions. I didn't.

While I waited they brought Jason back, he did his thing, then went about getting weighed. He lost 15 pounds. Jerk. lol.

Then we said our goodbyes and they took me back.

Now the last thing I remember is them wheeling me into the room and me looking around thinking, this is a small room.....that was it.

(Jason says he waited for my surgery to be over, the doctor came in and told him how I was and then they took him back, he actually remembers having to get up and move beds and they laid his hands out and then he was asleep)

When I woke up, the nurses kept telling me that I had to get up. Some time passed, I was in and out of it, then they made me move from the bed to a chair. I remember falling asleep again.
Eventually they woke me up telling me that Jason was out of surgery and that I could sleep a little while longer because I had to wait for him to come to.
The last time they woke me up, they said i had to get up to get an xray. I walked int here, my legs super shaky, and had to drink barium. At this point I was very thirsty and when I thought the drink they were going to give me was going to be refreshing, it was gross, I almost puked. lol.
The nurses brought me back to my chair, gave me my contacts, and then I was awake. I saw Jason in the bed across from mine, and he was kicking and waving his arms. The nurses kept telling him to calm down and stop trying to roll over. He wasn't listening, so this itty bitty nurse put the palm of her hand on his forehead, and he calms down. Her words were "It is funny how a 400 man feels like he is being pinned down when I do that"
About an hour later the nurses told me it was time to go, I get up, and hear Jason saying "An 8 an 8 my pain is an 8". I wasn't experiencing any pain...just a little discomfort and pressure.
I climb in the backseat of the car and wait for Jason and Veida. I fall asleep waiting. Apparently he was an hour behind me.
We get home, Veida stays with us for the afternoon. I sleep alot.

Lots of people called to check on us, and Jenna came by to drop off some soups and Popsicles.

We had some gas pressure, and Veida had picked up GasX for us. We had also pulled the mattress off Aaron's top bunk and put it on the floor. Thats where I was staying. And Jason was on the couch.

The next two days we were feeling a bit of the pain, but it wasn't too bad. My issue was I was sore all over. I couldn't figure out why, but then it dawned on me. I was sleeping on the floor, and to get up and down, I used every muscle I had in my body to hold my stomach from having to do all the work, and that made me sore.

Day two we were up and about. They said the more walking we do the better off our gas pain would be.... We went to Costco to walk around and pick up more soup. That was a chore. Man, I have never farted and burped sooooo much in my life. it was crazy, lol.

Day three post op we went to church

Day four post op we went back to costco and picked up a scale.

Day five.....we were still sore, but up and about doing our normal every day things.

Did I mention that I was watching kids this whole time? lol, yeah.....well I got Nikolas back on day 5 but I had Ainsley.....

by the next week we were pretty much good to go.

Here are a few pictures.......

At the surgery center.

Sexy sexy manVeida being mean and eating and drinking in front of me.Nikolas waiting with us in the waiting room.Right before I was taken back to the pre op room.After........that night.