Speechless, for the good and the bad.

For those of you looking for updates on fertility or the lack there of (I tried several times to pen my thoughts, however nothing has come to me when I sit down to catch you up...)..... this might be the post for you.
However since there are lots of things I didn't update you with this month....it might be a bit long and boring, or you may even be surprised that it won't be as long as you think....just go with it.
And believe it or not, there is a twist at the end, so hold on to your ovulation tests......it's gonna be a ride.
I have had a very basic fertility month.
Had my AF, three days later had an internal sonogram. (yay, not my favorite when you are dealing with cramps!), had another sono to check egg development, everything was looking good. I ovulated, and a week later had a good progesterone levels......
So technically I am waiting for my AF or a positive preg test...but with the symptoms i am having today, the AF is in the near future...last month it was two days later than predicted.....

So in addition to the normal things I have been going through, this month we finally had a little financial break and we were able to put some money towards getting Jason tested.
Last Thursday I rushed Jason's sample to the specialist, to have it analyzed.
Since Jason has a kid already, no one had need for alarm, we just wanted to rule it out.
Today we got the results.

So do you want the good news or the bad news first?

I am gonna go with the bad news, so we can just rip off the bandaid.......

Jason's sample came back highly abnormal.
So basically, not only does he have low counts, but they have morphing issues, and only less than 1% are normal....
So we now have to make an appointment to go see a urologist to see what can be done to fix it.
But we did some of our own research today, and found that with diet and exercise, some vitamin supplements and a little extra tlc, things can improve....we are not worried....God is still in control. Actually, Jason said, that maybe all this infertility stuff is God's way of forcing us to get healthy! ha ha. Probably.

So that means the GOOD NEWS is.............

Talking with Debbie about Jason's results, she said more likely she won't have to see me again for the treatments we are going through...Debbie had mentioned that she was going to make me take a break from the meds this month anyways, but now it is going to be almost permanent...But since Jason has the actual infertility issue, the only reason she would need to see me is because the urologist may recommend and IUI and in the worst case, but very possible case an IVF (which is way more costly) which then would result in me having to go through similar treatment with either an insertion of the "good" swimmers (IUI) or where they take my eggs and his stuff and then they make a petri baby and insert it at 5 days after ovulation (IVF)....but that is the only time she will need to see me.

So today was SUPER bitter sweet.

YAY!!!! There is nothing wrong with me! YAY!!!!!

Can you say, a weight has been lifted!

But I am sad, because I know Jason isn't showing any emotional signs, and I know he says he isn't worried, but I don't know what this process now holds for him, and me....and I don't want him to get distressed in the knowledge that he has to be fixed in some way....

I did get encouraged and discouraged at the same time. It was a weird flood of emotions, all at the same time.


NOW for the important question...

Have you, your family, your friends, etc....had to deal with male infertility? I want to read more candid thoughts and feelings about it.....process, costs, etc....but I guess this is a very taboo subject and I haven't found a single blog that is candid and real about this.... Help me!