A Sarcastic Thank You...

Dear Person Who Has My Cell Phone.....

I hope you are loving your newly found blackberry as much as I did.
Thank you for being an honest member of society, and contacting me through the friend who I kept having text you, as you have my phone.
Thank you also for allowing me this opportunity to utilize the insurance on my phone to get it replaced. Heavens know that I pay into this program, I should be getting my moneys worth. Never mind the $100 that I have to pay to get my bb replaced...(you may say it is cheap for a blackberry, but I may have to argue seeing as I already HAD a blackberry.)
Please enjoy the games that were loaded onto my blackberry, and good luck beating my brick breaker score of 16,110 at level 29. I worked hard for that...so please appreciate it and don't clear it and reset the score.
As you get acquainted with all of my friends and family that are in my phoneboook, please let them know that I will soon get a replacement. It will just take a little time since the economic strain is hurting everyones pocketbook...tell the to email me if they need me. It might be a few weeks.
Also, as you have my phone. Please talk to Shayda every day for me. Make sure she is happy, and ask her about her day, let her vent, and tell her over and over that you love her....also let her know I love her.
Please take care of my phone, use it like a blackberry should be used....and please pray that the phone my insurance ends up sending me isn't a crappy refurbished one.

Thank you for not returning my phone...

Layla