Letters

A few letters I thought about writing tonight~

Dear Wal-Mart -

I think you need to do a bit more research on the books that you have (or don't have) on your shelves...I watch Oprah, but I don't think she has the best taste in books. I enjoy some of the books she suggests, but not all of them, so be choosey when putting her book club books on your shelf....
Did you know that not everyone that shops at Wal-Mart is white trash? I may appear to be when I shop late at night...I have seen prettier days....but, I am not there to purchase the soft pornographic harlequin "novels" that you so abundantly over stocked.
If you need to know what should be on your shelves, review some of the awesome blogs I have that give critiques on great books....and leave the cheap trashy novels to that of library sales and old lady days at half priced books.....at least put something of quality and newness on your shelves (We have all already read The Kite Runner and A Thousand Splendid Suns).

Thank You For Your Time.
An empty handed former walmart book buyer.

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Dear Stationary and School Supply makers-

I hate you....only because I love you so dearly. You and only you have been the reason I get excited to go to school.....ever. I knew that if I had a new pen that wrote with dark almost bleeding ink, a new set of fun post-it notes, a brand new box of pencils and a sharpener....I would automatically get straight A's in all of my classes, even gym!
Tonight, for the lack of finding a decent book, I spent the money I wanted to get a book with on random supplies. I have decided that I will carry a mini stationary desk in my purse, tote or whatever you call it (Veida calls it a Mary Poppins Bag). You have supplied me with a pink supply holder, a new pair of small scissors, new post it notes, a small notebook with three sections, eraser set, multi colored variaty pens, pencils, glue stick, and two fine pointed sharpies. I don't really NEED any of this, but I walked by the aisle, and there your stuff was.
Could you possibly put a disclaimer on your packages, not gaurtneeing straight A's or sanity when it comes to the combination of your items.....A new notebook makes me think I could be the next Jane Austen or Stephen King....It gives me false hope (as in my childhood) that because I have a pen and a stack of papers in a planner disguise, that I will automatically be organized and put together....this is all wrong. I still have to accountable for my actions with your supplies, so please stop implying such nonesense.
If I don't see such warnings, I will be forced to buy your items from Target, because there they care enough for their customers mental stability, and close at night, helping reduce the spontaneou purchases of your evil and overwhelmingly not needed but desired products!

Waiting for prompt action!

The owner of a million pens, and 99% do not write like I like.